短篇英语笑话故事

短篇英语笑话故事

　　英语笑话能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面，因为笑话是源于人们的生活的。下面是小编分享给大家的短篇英语笑话故事，希望对大家有帮助。

　　短篇英语笑话故事：Sherlock Homes

　　Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

　　After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

　　Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

　　"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

　　Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

　　"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked,Watson pondered for a minute.

　　"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

　　Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

　　Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

　　Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

　　Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

　　"What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

　　"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"

　　短篇英语笑话故事：What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　是哪两个词?

　　一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的.孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。你能答应我吗?

　　噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词?

　　短篇英语笑话故事：Synonym=Bad Language

　　One day a ten-year-old child asked his mother, "Mom, what is a synonym(同义词) ?"

　　"What? You even don't know what a synonym is? How foolish you are. When I describe you as foolish, I mean you're silly, stupid. Now you know what a synonym is ?"

　　"Yes, a synonym is using bad language." The child concluded.

　　短篇英语笑话故事：what do I get 我能得到什么

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

　　Tommy: Quarters.

　　Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

　　Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿?

　　汤米：四块。

　　老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢?

　　汤米：汉堡。

　　短篇英语笑话故事：Persistance 缠住不放

　　Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?

　　Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.

　　Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?

　　丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是理查叔叔?

　　我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。我们打球只是为了好玩而已。

　　莎拉毫不气馁，又问：那么，爸爸，谁觉得更好玩呢?

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