高考英语作文欣赏及评析(2)

学人智库 时间:2018-02-08 我要投稿
【www.unjs.com - 学人智库】

  【全国卷I海南、宁夏】

  【试题回放】

  假定你是李华,正在英国接受英语培训,住在一户英国人家里。今天你的房东Mrs. Wilson 不在家,你准备外出,请给Mrs. Wilson 写一留言条,内容包括:

  1.外出购物

  2.替房东还书

  3.Tracy 来电话留言:1)咖啡屋(Bolton Coffee)见面取消

  2)此事已告知Susan

  3) 尽快回电

  注意:

  1. 词数100左右;

  2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。

  Mrs. Wilson,

  I’m going out shopping, and won’t be back until about 5:00 pm. I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return to the City Library. At about 1 o’clock this afternoon, Tracy called, saying that she couldn’t meet you at Bolton Coffee tomorrow morning as she has something important to attend to. She felt very sorry about that, but said that you could set some other time for the meeting. She wanted you to call her back as soon as you are home. She has already told Susan about this change.

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  [名师点评]

  本文属于提纲式要点作文,是学生比较熟悉的题材,体现了英语学习应该注意实用性,生活型的原则。行文人称、时态运用恰当、准确,各个要点间逻辑连贯,行文通顺。提纲类书面表达不是简单的逐条翻译,而是将所给的几个要点合理的组成比较通顺的语句,因此要仔细组织语言,合理安排结构。在语言方面,要特别注意简洁明了,开头要开门见山。

  【全国卷】

  【试题回放】

  假定你是李华,从小喜爱大熊猫(panda),一直通过有关网站(website)关注三年前在美国圣迭哥动物园出生的大熊猫“苏琳”和她的母亲“白云”。现在苏琳即将三岁。请根据以下要点给动物园工作人员写一封信:

  1、 自我介绍;2、 祝贺苏琳生日;3、 感谢工作人员;4、 索取苏琳三岁生日照。

  注意:

  1、词数100左右;2、可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;3、开头语已为你写好。

  例文:

  Dear Sir/Madam,

  Greetings from China!

  I’m Li Hua, a student in Sichuan. I’ve been a panda lover since I was a child. About three years ago I was delighted to learn that Baiyun gave birth to her daughter Sulin and I’ve been watching her grow on your website,. Now she’s going to be three. I’d like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work, because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.

  By the way, could I have a photo of Sulin taken on her third birthday? Thank you very much in advance.

  Yours truly,

  Li Hua

  【名师点评】

  本文写作的内容要点如下:1.自我介绍;2.信息来源;3.祝贺生日;4.感谢照顾;5.索取照片;6.合适的结尾。

  这封信格式正确,行文规范,描述有条不紊,称呼、正文中的开头及结尾、结束语均表达到位。文章行文活泼,感情真挚,语言表述准确,洋溢着作者因大熊猫得到精心照顾而对美方人员的感激之情,以及希望自己愿望成真,得到照片的希冀之情。长短句运用合理,结合了简单句和复合句,流畅自然,不露痕迹,的确是一篇佳作。

  积累卡片英汉互译

  好词

  1.delighted adj.欣喜的,快乐的 2.express v.表达 3.give birth to v.产生,生育

  好句

  I’d like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work, because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.

  我祝福它生日快乐并且对你们的辛勤工作表达我的感激之情,正是你们的努力工作让苏琳和它的父母在美国过着幸福和健康的生活。

  评析:定语从句的使用。